"How can one regret the absence of the other while at the same time feeling a sense of deliverance from their presence? But language itself tells us how: Regretter la présence de quelqu'un means both to feel regret that they are there and to be sorry they are not. Regretter son absence means to feel regret that he is not there and for the time when he was not there. The melancholy of parting brings on this emotional confusion.
It is true that presence is less delicate in its effects than absence. It is true that it is rare to be able to dream of someone in their presence. To touch them and dream you are touching them. To talk to them and dream you are talking to them. To look at them and dream you are looking at them. Now, the presence of the other has to be like a dream. Otherwise it becomes unbearable. Pure presence is unbearable."

(Jean Baudrillard, Cool Memories)

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