Elvis needs glasses

Honest, the boy's an absolute fool and a tool. At 0510 this morning I darted into my camouflaged dressing gown and flip flops, then went towards the enemy dressed very much as Wallace would have been ie nowt holding things together.

Apparently, as Mrs Booty later told me, there had been much snuffling and indeed banging noises from the area she had left the broom. Elvis, it appears, is achieving puberty and seems willing to knock knees with anything resembling a female hedgehog. Consequently the broom fell over which is when I turned hero and went in search of the enemy.

It can't be easy trying it on with an aquamarine plastic headed yard broom, so I have to admit that I hold a certain amount of respect for the boy. I just wish his timing was a bit better.

He is his mother's son, the pale gray mark behind his front paw is identical to Mum, who is about twice his size. The detritus is bird food from the feeders. Mrs Booty is recovering well from self induced bruising, it's her fault I was dragged from Morpheus' Arms at O'Dark Hundred, so no surprise my arms flailed around.

Have a look at Elvis and 'Janice' large.