Up in smoke

I love a good read of a cocktail menu - they sound so random and made up. Like someone has just emptied out their fridge and cupboards and used whatever they could find. Although if that were the case, a cocktail in my house would be be "Flat diet coke, with a shot of Tesco's own mango & apple juice (not concentrate), shaken with some of the ice that has built up inside the freezer, a couple of drops of out of date bottled lemon juice and garnished with ground Cheerios."