My life in boxes

So, today hasn't been a good day....
Why are my blips always doom and gloom, why do I always moan?.....I try not to, I try to give them a twist of humour, but I always read them back and note that I have moaned, yet again.....
So, why should today be any different....lol

Today has been very hard for me, I didn't sleep last nite...I knew that today was coming, but I was trying to delay it....it didn't work....you can't stop time, nor delay it...nor go back in it....why not?...maybe a design fault I dont know,....but it needs to be upgraded to a better model by now!!!!

Anyway, so, George came down with the rest of my belongings from stoney...everything....what you see before you, believe me is but a drop in the ocean...there wasn't enough room in the music room, so it spilled into the living room....
It has been a very difficult day, as it signifies the end of an era, and I'm devastated and heartbroken.....to top it off, I then had to go to the dentist as my tooth had broken...followed by an hour and a half job interview,(which actually went ok, though I didn't feel the love)....with afore mentioned numb mouth!!!...lovely!!!
Anyway, so,
I'm sitting here with my life in boxes and I'm afraid to delve...I'm afraid of the heartache and tears that will follow....but I know I'm going to have to do it.....it's just so hard..acceptance is hard, moving on is even harder!!!
It's funny that in the middle of all the clutter though is an umbrella tree....this is "Charlie brown"...he was my step mothers and she had him for 21 years before moving abroad with my dad and I adopted him...I've had him 11 years, so that makes him 32....
Not a patch on the chestnut tree from yesterday's blip, but quite significant none the less.......

It's strange actually that he is there, he moved from Ireland to Scotland in a transit van, and he didn't like it..he was near suicidal for a few days initially, and i considered euthanasia as a n answer, but then he settled in and all was well...when we moved house, he was in the back if my car...suicidal tendencies reared their head again, but soon again, he settled in...NOW, he has come again in a transit van.....this time I know what is going to happen, but THIS time, I KNOW....(I hope)..he will again be okay.

So, how different am I from Charlie brown?...I'm sad, heartbroken, but will I recover?...I guess I will....as I said before, it's just hard....why is it so easy to wallow in self pity, and so difficult to recover from??...design fault again!!!

So, I'll sort through my stuff, I'll cry lots, cry some more, have a drink, cry again...then go to bed.....I HAVE moved on, and I will again from this...I am strong, I must believe I'm strong, for as the saying goes....

"This too shall pass".....x