How to speak Geordinese

Now I'm not a big ale drinker myself but I did think the inscription on the back of this bottle was humorous. So here goes...

We had some blerk at the bar the other
neet asking if he cud tek hyem some
Toon Waal Ale.
'Well yee cannit' we said 'coz it comes oot
of the keg doonstairs in the cellar'
'Why divvent ye bottle it then wor kid?'
So we did...

If anyone is having trouble deciphering this paragraph then this may be helpful
- Larn Yersel' Geordie

There is still no sunshine but if you look closely at the reflection in the bottle you can see a smidgen of blue sky!