May the fourth be with you

Today has been a good day actually, despite having double psychology, a maths test then double chemistry..
Psychology was fun today, we played games, maths was the worst and chemistry, which I'm failing, actually went okay, I understand chemistry, wtf

Again, I saw David today, I thought I better be kinder to him today, as I was a bitch yesterday, so I offered him a tab as a peace offering. This was on my first break, before maths. After maths I saw Ryan, who stupidly I guess I'm starting to like, even though he has a fiancee and he's not attractive, its just something about him, its just the way he treats me, like a princess. Oh man.

My tongue is still really sore, managed to eat some pasta tonight though.
My photo, its basically because it was too cold to smoke a full super king, so I stumped it out, which I hate doing anyways, but now I regret it as I'm dying for a tab now but my mum doesn't know I smoke. Might wait for her to fall asleep and smoke out the window.. tempting

My depressions really bad at the minute. Last night was horrible. I'm so stressed over college and money and exams and boys and being happy for my friends and hiding smoking and my depression from my mum. My eldest little sister, Heather/Heb knows everything, I tell her everything. I think if im open with her she will be with me when she needs someone.

But yeah, there's me, last night, sat on my window ready to jump, only thing stopping me was leaving my mum and sister, and the thought of not being there for my baby brother and baby sister to grow up. Couldn't deal with that. I always think of something to stop me.
I always over think things
Wish I didn't. Maybe I'd be happier..