Bloody morning!

First was woken up by a stupid lorry driver wanting me to move my car so he could reverse his humogous lorry round the corner. Second after feeding the dogs and just about to take them out when I gave a massive sneeze! Straight away I felt blood and sure enough there was blood pouring out my nostril!! Tried stemming it with tissues, no joy, then had the bright idea of Googling how to stop a bleeding nose! also not a good idea as it was by then pouring out and all over my keyboard at that! Hubby was at work, my own car in the garage so after soaking two bath towels, finally threw in the towel and phoned neighbour. I also thought put your head back to stop flow..an even worse idea all I did then was start to choke. Anyhow neighbour took one look and said get in my car now and she drove like Jenson Button to the local A&E.
They applied some sort of pinzer thing, Reminded me of the old things we used to start tilly lamps with. Had to lie there while they proceeded to steal yet more blood from my arm! I thought why not just put a jar under my nose! then blood pressure check & count which was as always fine.
AFter an hour it seemed to stop so got up to go to car when it erupted again.
Back in and the nurse said "I will have to plug it with a tampon" What! I don't want a bloody tampon up my already bloody nose but she was most insitent. Well let me tell you that this flaming tampon felt like she was trying to push it though my eye! It was unreal, think child birth then shoving it back the way it came and you can get the picture! Pain and watery eyes and though I took a photo It is too gory to show! Now I have to have this flaming projectile up my snoot till Wed!! and all this before lunchtime! Twice I have came close to snezzing again but nurs said put toungue up to roof of your mouth and you can stop the sneeze so here's hoping!
PS I have just read the advice sheet they gave me and it says "Do not put anything up your nose" Yet they shove a bung up to almost my brain (should there be one) which is causing mucho discomfort
PPS ell their advice on how to avoid sneezing was utter tosh, just sneezed 5 times in a row and eyes watering like mad!
Happy blipping all