You've been Tangoed!!!

So, today I decided I was far too pale for the wedding on Sunday, and so booked me a spray tan!!!!
For those of you that have never had one, its hilarious....you strip down to just a pair of disposable pants, stand in a booth, and let a girl tango you work her magic.
You then have to leave it on overnight in order to develop...develop??...im freaking dark enough!!!...soon Ill be nothing but a set of teeth!!!then in the morning, you wash it off and are a beautiful creature....hahahaha...well thats what I'm hoping!!!...what they fail to tell you is that you must hide yourself away as you look like you've just been dragged through a pool of mud, your clothes are clattered in the afore mentioned tan, your bed from past experience looks like it has never been laundered, not to mention the clumping around the wrinkles...lol
Apart from that, it just great....hehehehe...oh, and you are not allowed to get wet...Ive just made the bloody dinner with rubber gloves on!!!.....I ask you!!!

So, whilst sitting here, waiting for my beloved Scott to come home....hes due a shock and a half....
"I got to thinking".....

What are the perks of being a girl when it comes to getting tarted up???.....hmmmm
1...Obviously the fake tan...nothing better than that sun kissed glow
2...Makeup....This is the most brilliant invention ever in the world...nothing better than a bit of slap on to transform you
3...Fake eyelashes...I loovvveee them!!...they are great
4...High heels...Apart from stopping me from looking like a midget, they definitely lengthen your legs...Bloody sore to walk in great!!
5...Hair up.....My hair is quite long, and I do love being able to put it up...this is me trying to look sophisticated and elegant....
6...Dresses...Im so used to wearing jeans, putting on a dress makes me feel great, and look feminine....I love the one I'm wearing on Sunday, so thats a plus
7...Eyebrows...Not a mono brow in sight...not even a stay hair....preened and ready to go thanks to threading!!!
8...Jewellery...Okay, so we women always wear jewellery, but when getting tarted up and on special occasions, the obligatory "BLING" jewellery gets a showing....Bring it on!!!
9...Body contour underwear...Okay, all you gals will know what I'm talking about...the underwear that sucks you in....unfortunately though, my dress does not allow such luxuries, so I'm relying on holding my breath.....lol...
10...Hair dye...This is another god send, as it gets rid of the grey...I must advise you though that once this wedding is over, I intend on going Blond....argghhh...talk about from the serene to the totally mental!!!

So, you men may ask the necessity of the above???.....oh my, how naive you are..lol...so that we look truly AMAZING...or should I say...Even more amazing...
I only hope it does the trick for me....lol.....
can't wait to see Scotts jaw hit the floor on Sunday!!!!

You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear...(I beg to differ)...

Fur coat, no knickers
eileen bradley