Running Gloves

This running lark is well and good 
when the streets are sunny and dry, 
but wet, icy on a moonless night,
one has to wonder why?

Why subject the knees to ache,
the back and thighs to pain?
Why cough so much in the winter chill
or get soaked in freezing rain?

Why the hell wear lycra shorts
and expensive running togs?
Why run till you can run no more
and then get chased by dogs?

Why enjoy the competition
when it isn’t even a race?
Why lose your footing in the dark,
and slide along on your face?

Why wear fancy little gloves
with a key pocket in the palm?
Why wear a jawbone on your wrist
and an iPhone on your arm?

It’s to make you fit and strong, my friend,
when you come to use a commode.
May your fluorescent strips shine brightly
when you reach the end of the road.