Which is it?

Ok have I...

1. Accidentally tripped over Fred the Tortoise, currently hibernating under the stairs but soon to wake up, and cut myself?
2. Not used gloves, as any safety conscious human being should, and sliced my hand open on some broken glass?
3. Found some paint and designed a pattern soon to be sold for millions at the Tate Modern?
4. Dropped my bowl of ice cream with lashings & lashings of strawberry sauce on it?
5. Bought a new Radox bubble bath?

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