Musings on a Journey South

Down to Manc on wir way to a woddin in Witney. Yup. That's Dave's constituency isn't it? I did larf at his speech to a group of apprentices. "I'm hoping for the big moment when Villa win the FA Cup and we all have a cup of tea after the game and cause a huge power surge. Well, I can dream, can't I?" Silence. Oof. As Marina Hyde did write. What the eff is that? A cup of tea? Is that what you do when you win the cup, Dave? Getting bladdered on the Earl Grey. Tally effin Ho! Mind you, the papers (I've been reading on the way down) are full of such lovely tosh. "Overweight less likely to suffer from dementia." Aye, nae doot. Cos they're all deid! What about this idea of everyone getting the chance of three days paid community service leave? What a beezer idea. There were questions about how much that would cost the NHS. Whaaat?? You mean we pay nurses to look after the sick and poorly and attend to bent fingers and the like and instead they're aff pulling up bloody Himalayan bloody Balsam and other invasive species?? We've totally lost it. What tosh. Everyone stoppit now. Gawd, what's that roaring noise in my ears? Nurse. Nurse!!