Bed death.

Sage and I are lying on my bed, she began to fall asleep so I joined her and we had a nap for a while. Today is morbid. Pamela has gone home which is fine, but I miss her already. My hand won't stop bleeding because I am biting my nails down to nothing. Laura is worrying me and I can't fix it.

She's in love with someone and she can't deal with it. Love is never worth it. But we do it anyway, because it is addictive, and the sorrow is just a side effect that initially we think we can deal with. But by the end of it we're clinging onto it with our bare hands, despite having forgotten what it is we are even in love with.

You can't let it consume you, you must carry on as normal and pretend nothing has changed at all, until happiness walks your way. You cannot expect too much from a girl who has never been in love, you have to teach her, but to do so you must be in the right frame of mind. Be kind, and do not expect it to be easy.

I love my cat so much, I realise this every time I am sad, I cuddle her and the horrible things going on seem to melt away. She's curled up on my leg while I write this, and knowing she's here makes things more bearable. I love her with all my heart and more, she makes the things I look forward to, come faster, and she makes my stress levels drop and most of all she makes me smile, especially when she wants to be otu and I lean over her and tell her to say please, and she jumps up and touches my chin/lower lip with her little nose.

She's perfect and I adore her beyond anything imaginable.

Bethan's coming over tomorrow! I can't wait. She might be able to stay over, maybe not, but she's coming around 12 and the weathers rubbish so we can snuggle and such and be happy. I love my Bethan I do. She's great.

~

Call eachother up when we're messed up
Say we'll meet in the new year.
But it's perfectly clear,
that we'll do no such thing.