So You Win Again... You Win Again

Unless you have a phobia, you can't explain the sensation of panic and anxiety which comes along with the manifestation of your greatest fear. 

I know my phobia is irrational.   That is the very nature of phobia and anxiety. 

For that reason, last night was spent gazing at numbers flicking over on an app on my phone, as I become more and more convinced that the likely end of the world I was expecting was about to commence. 

When I rose this morning and woke himself, he looked at the numbers read them out to me, and I sung loudly with my fingers in my ears. 

And I got dressed and went to work.  

There were no bodies by the side of the road.  There was no flag waving or militant activity to be seen.   The cows were eating grass, and two starlings were going at it on the grass verge.  The lambs were skipping through the fields, and I got to work with no problem. 

Panic begins to subside.  Anxiety attack over. 

Then I got home tonight, and decided to start this.  

The undertoad is already building in my stomach. 

What have I started?