It's not so grim up North

By Richy

Don't even know what to say....

Wow, where do I start...........!?!?! Things were coasting along pretty well......when I say 'well', I mean in blipfoto terms. I was back posting pics and starting to enjoy it again then everything went to shit.....
Those of you who follow or followed me will know my family and I emigrated to Oz in October, the start up was hard as would be expected but I found work, not as a plumber but working for a property maintenance company which is cool as it allows me to apply for my plumbing licence at my leisure............or Queensland's leisure, they are making it very, very difficult and expensive!! The cry of 'We need qualified tradesmen', is not quite the truth......(By the way this is not a sympathy blip) it seems you need a licence to have a licence to have a licence......
As very few, probably only one or two of you will know my Mum was diagnosed with breat cancer on Xmas eve, a difficult time to receive bad news I grant you but with treatment these days I thought that little Yorkshire lady will see it off. We Skyped often but I could see Mum wasn't remotely herself and upon pressing my sisters and Dad there was more to be told....
Mum was also diagnosed with small vessel disease which can form as a type of dementia. My family pretty much tried to sugar coat all the questions I was asking because of the move we'd made and didn't want to put us under stress. She was in and out of hospital as she had become anaemic and required blood transfusions regularly. I booked a flight home after a lengthy conversation with my elder sister who eventually admitted Mum was much worse than they had let on. I booked a flight back to the Uk straight away leaving my wife and boys at home. After a rough 35 hours of airports and trains etc I was back in Dorset and straight to the hospital which incidentally was 30 miles from my folks house. Upon arrival at the hospital with my younger sis I saw my Mum in the flesh (although I 'd seen her on Skype the previous week) for the first time in what was only three and a half months...... I was gobsmacked by the way she had been ravaged . She was gaunt and stick thin but still had a smile and a gripping hug that I can still feel on my arm today. My sister, younger brother and I spent the next few weeks to and from Dorchester hospital spending all the time we could with our Mum. The local Cancer charity and hospital found a bed in a nursing home just a couple of miles from my  family home which was fab which meant we could spend more time without travelling.  Sadly my flight home was looming and time getting short....with the small vessel disease worsening the times of clarity were becoming short so on the day I had to go I spent some time on my own with Mum just sitting and holding her hand. There are a lot more graphic moments but not necessary to recount.. We had managed to find a nursing home that offered end of life palliative care in the village where we lived for our childhood and my mum was due to be transferred there on the day I arrived back in Australia.........................sadly she never made it. Quite literally upon my return she died.  I returned for the funeral after a nightmare cockup by the NHS unable to release the body because the same doctor who gave the treatment had to sign the paper work was on holiday. And because of Harold Shipman 'two' Dr's had to sign it off.....
The service was nice and personal, I helped to carry my Mums wicker coffin to the crematorium and also personally lowered her ashes into the ground.........

As I said I'm not after sympathy but as I've written this it's helped my grieving process, I guess it help documenting stuff.

The biggest irony is this.......My Mum had hidden illness for up to five years! As lovely as she was, she was a stubborn bugger, if you're in doubt, get checked. She left breast cancer, it spread and spread...........

I chose a cheery picture I took last night after our last job in the city, the Story Bridge.

Gillian Poulton 7.10.44 - 15.3.2015,  love you Mum.

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