looking up

that's just the direction for the shot, not things in general i'm afraid. things are... let's leave it at not any better than they have been.

this is what passes for a spire on st patrick's church in the cowgate. i thought it looked rather nice against the clouds.

i like church architecture, church music and stained glass windows. i admire faith and almost envy the comfort it can bring. however, i do not like organised religion. i have problems with the wealth of The Church (the organisation, not the parish building) when people need food and a roof over their heads. i have problems with middle-aged middle-class white men telling me what to do with my body and my mind.

whatever faith in whatever that you have, hold onto it. but don't be doing something that you don't believe in just because someone told you it was written in a big ol' book. if you want to live your life by the book (whatever book you prefer), then live your entire life by the entire book, no cherry-picking.

while we're here: i also believe there's nothing more, when you die you're dead. this is what counts, what you do on this planet in this lifetime. you probly won't get a reward for it, other than the knowledge that you tried to make a difference, tried to help. so even tho it feels like crap sometimes, like no-one's noticed, like no-one is there for you while you've always been there for everyone, well, you have to just deal.

no, i don't deal well. and no i don't always try to help, i'm often selfish, self-centred, mean and all the rest. but at least i know what i *should* be doing.