Good Grief 22

It's a funny thing, this despair malarkey. It comes and goes, ebbs and flows ... mostly flows. As anniversaries come and go you just don't quite know what to expect. Sometimes the anticipation is the worst bit and the thing itself a bit of a relief. At other times the thing itself is grim and then it's a little better. There are probably many variations on the theme. This time the aftermath is a bit bleak. Someone said to me the other day, 'do you feel you need to remember or would you feel guilty if you forgot?' I recall being very aware that the question fell so far out of my actual experience that I found it hard to answer. It is all so much a part of my being and very existence that in some ways there is nothing to remember or forget.
It just is.