Too much drink?

In celebration of the Great British Bake Off, I'd like to share my Christmas Cake Recipe with you.

Ingredients


1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Johnnie Walker

Instructions


1. Sample the Johnnie Walker to check quality
2. Take a large bowl, check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink
3. Repeat
4. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl
5. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again
6. Make sure the whisky is still OK. Try another cup
7. Turn off the mixerer
8. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit
9. Mix on the turner
10. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver
11. Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity
12. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a shit
13. Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts
14. Add one table
15. Add a spoon of sugar, or something. Whatever you can find
16.Greash the oven and piss in the fridge
17. Turn the cake tin 350 defrees
18. Don't forget to beat off the turner
19. Throw the bowl through the f**king window
20. Check the whisky again and go to bed