Good Grief 46

I struggled to settle to anything today and eventually came out just for a change of scene. I left it late and didn't even manage to walk far but when I was nearly home I suddenly realised I had mislaid my mobile phone. I searched but couldn't find it so drove back in a panic to where I had walked and searched there, to no avail. I then went through everything and realised that I had popped it into my trainer when I had put my boots on. The relief was ridiculous, I cried like a baby. I have the last texts from my husband on there from when he was in hospital and I have kept encouraging texts from my friend. I thought, 'It has come to this. I am hanging on to texts sent by a man who has been dead for more than three years and the kind words of a friend'. I realised how very vulnerable I feel. And how lost.