Saturday

First of all, thank you all so much for your concerning comments. They are very much appreciated and it's nice to know people care.

The last wee while has been hard. There is chaos at work and on top of that we are very busy and have lots on. I haven't really coped too well with that. My anxiety has been very evident as I struggle to look like I am coping.

Several family things have been challenging too, and again I have to behave like I am ok and coping.

The only person I can be honest with and can be myself is my counsellor.
I am beginning to realise certain things about my life and how I really don't have one .

Today I had to say no to meeting a blipper due to my anxiety.
I hate the person I am, but I have no idea how to change because it causes me such pain.  

I nipped into town to get more coffee pods. It wasn't a great experience; it was busy, noisy and I was aware everybody was out with friends etc. I didn't stay long.
I have taken a few diazepam and hope to be asleep soon.