The noble bloom

Gladioli were introduced to the UK by the popular megastar Dame Edna Everage. her husband, Norman, who was prone to prostate problems and testicular murmurings, first grew them in his garden in Melbourne thinking they were a form of globe artichoke.

When Dame Edna hit the bright lights of the London stage she instructed her long suffering companion, Madge, to acquire some of the blooms to distract attention from her and give the audience something to focus on. They were flown in from Australia on an aircraft of the Queens flight.

The plant is known for its long flowering period, its majestic foliage and its stately bearing. What is not widely known is that as well as the rhizomes being highly toxic, they are praised as an emetic and the native peoples of New Guinea use them in fertility rites and retirement parties.

Dame Ednas husband sadly passed away recently, (she said, at least I know where he is, he's on the mantlepiece) He was laid to rest with a wreath of gladioli resting on top of the coffin. He has a particular variagated strain named after him: gladiolus vienus varicos.

The gladioli is the national flower of Turkmenistan and features in the flag of The Tuman Islands, where an annual festival is held and a Gladioli queen is chosen. By tradition she must be a virgin of at least 43 years of age and on the night of her election she is free to choose up to ten unmarried men of the island who are given headresses of gladioli stems and have to do the queens bidding for 24 hours.

It has been suggested (but not confirmed) that Prince Charles has instructed that at his funeral, the honour guard is to bear gladioli rather than swords and a hothouse at Highgrove is dedicated to ensuring that blooms are available 24/7 throughout the year. It is also rumoured that in the event of the Duchess of Cornwall bearing issue , the child is to be named Gladioli Edna, There is no name specified if the child is female.

A New National Collection of Gladioli has recently been established in Skagborourgh Park, near Leeds.