22nd November 2015

I accidentally took this picture but it totally sums up my day. Depression is a hard thing to live with and opening up to loved ones and admitting you need help has always been the hardest thing for me to do. To me, admitting I can't cope is a sign of weakness and that's not within my nature. So I completely blew-up this morning and told Mr S to leave as the marriage was over. The funny thing about relationships is it takes two people to have a relationship and he's not ready to give up on me. So he said all the right things, did all the right things and brought me back to some kind of normality. I've never learnt how to love myself, I always see major flaws within me and never the nice things. I see myself as damaged and no good to anyone. He doesn't see that. He just sees me retreating into my shell. I really am my own worst enemy.