Male bonding
These men are my my son, born when I was 28 , and my half-brother on my father's side, born when I was 14. My brother and I discovered each other in 2008, when, with help of a genealogist named Barbara Zimmer, I found my father's family in Florida. My father died in 1991; I never met him, but his family has been warm and welcoming to me and to my family. This is the second time my brother and I have met. The first time was when I went to Florida to meet them all in 2009. I feel a deep undercurrent of connection with this brother and our cousins. Now several cousins and I have had our DNA tested, and indeed, we share a common grandfather, and although Max has not had his DNA tested, his father is the man my mother told me was my father.
I wonder what's in "blood," what bonds us with our biological relatives, whether or not we have interests or values in common. Something does. Is it how we look? I think that even if I didn't know we are related, I would feel it. Is that my imagination?
My brother, my Florida cousins, and I all have a common grandfather and grandmother. My son looks more like that grandfather than any of that grandfather's other many descendents, although I also see a resemblance between these two. What is the grandparents' legacy in us? I look at our hands, our feet, our ears, our noses, our physical strengths and weaknesses. I hear a familiar timbre in their voices. I feel something I can't explain.
The guys started with a beer and are out having a tequila now. I think that's how male bonding works, and I'm happy to see them doing what guys do. I hope I get a better picture of the two of them than this blurry mess slightly unfocused shot I took in the first hour we were together, when they wanted a beer and I was still feeling a little shy and nervous. Surely I can do better with a little more time.
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