Basic Instincts

I'm addicted to stomping in water in wellies while loudly shouting the words splash, splish, splosh, splish in time with every stomp, no matter whether sheep or human hear me (or fear me, "och, its just thon deranged wifie in the woods"). I'm rewarded every time with a full throttle rugby tackle to my stomach courtesy of the dog, who is not a fan of these words. That's because the dog's favourite word is Dave, which is really annoying, because obviously I should be his favourite.