Feels just like starting over........

I have decided to turn off the comments on my posts, so that I can use blip as a journal and not have to worry too much about sounding pathetic and self indulgent! It's good to know that people are watching, (hopefully!), but I don't think that I have the time or energy at the moment to do your comments justice.

Nearly 2 years have gone by since I started this journal and everything and nothing has changed.
Today I got up to spend a very rare day on my own and found that a pipe was leaking in my boiler cupboard.....it's not a huge thing but it has had a huge effect
Over the past couple of months I have learned new things and one of those is what lonely means.
I've never really understood the word as I have always been happy on my own and enjoy my own company, but to me now, it means needing to talk to someone and realising that there is no one there anymore
It means wanting to go to the theatre and realising that there is no one to ask to go with me, who will enjoy it as much as me.
It's having a leaky pipe and realising there is no one to help me.
I have stopped taking my anti depressants as 2 years seemed more than enough to get over what happened, but New Year was a bad choice of timing and I have spent a lot of time comparing last year with this and re experiencing the shock and confusion together with the realisation that for some, I am not enough

Still, today is a symbol of a new start, so I will write more and look backwards less. I will make art of some description and keep faith with myself.
This is a new journey

Happy New Year everyone!

I obviously missed the entry regarding the future of Blip, so I have amended my photo a little.
Blip has helped me enormously over the last couple of years.....the more I did it, the more it helped. It helped me focus on days when it seemed impossible to get out of the chair, it made me look more carefully at the world around me and on the days when I really couldn't get out of the house, it made me view the ordinary things inside, in ways that helped make them slightly less ordinary.
I discovered that I could write a bit and take a fair photo....and that is why I am trying to get more involved again.
I hope blip can be saved.....we all need some creativity in our lives https://www.blipfuture.com