Frozen

Took the children to the allotment this morning and it was icy. A lot of the tubs had frozen tops with leaves in them. Looked quite cool as we pulled them out. We harvested beetroot, purple brussel sprouts and planted garlic.

I still feel awful after last night. I went to bed eventually and I ended up crying myself to sleep.
I have replayed the conversation in my head all day and its making me feel ill. She knows this is what I will do and that makes it hard to cope with.
I feel alone, abandoned, scared.
I don't know how I'm going to feel at the time of next wks appointment. I have to be honest with her about how this has made me feel and I am panicking about this also.
I am coping the only way I know tonight, wine and cutting.