Roadkill Café

Hello Mum and Auntie Doris

Well I've arrived at the start of my gourmet holiday. Good flight though wind got up and the landing was a bit bumpy.

After I dropped my things, I wandered along the road out of town following a really delicious smell. I soon came across a newly opened place, it's called Sus Scrofa (Wild Boar, in English) and is just on the right hand side of the road near the crossroads. Apparently it is just 5 days opened up. It is one of these complexes, restaurants, bars, dance floors, and probably any other delight if you want to dig in.

There was a heaving clientele, literally,and the decor is interesting, coarse textures and designer stubble everywhere, I explored the "Tusk Bar" at street level , then made my way up to Flanks and Shanks where the main action was, this is obviously the most popular bit at the moment.

It is a sort of open buffet area, you just grab whatever you fancy from whats on display. In my piccy here I fancied this lovely plump blowfly maggot, but there was all sorts.

Over to the left by the open air Scapula lounge, all ivory and crimson, there was a hen party of bluebottles from Salford, all short skirts, white thighs, low tops and those gauzy wings. Common as muck and regurgitating everywhere. The local lads, mostly barflies were circling round and round and dropping in for a quick hover every now and then. At a table over toward The Ears were a couple of cockroaches from the local footie team, hunched over a bit of detached skin and obviously discussing the merits of two striped wasps who were preening themselves by the door to the ladies. A party of dung beetles rolled in and the decided to head down to the basement disco where the millipede was doing a limbo dancing exhibition.

The customer service was shocking, couldn't find a waiter anywhere, and it was worse than Jimmy Wong's, "Eat All You Can Big Chinese Buffy" on a Saturday night. Eventually I found a quiet corner, The Ears, they called it and settled down to eat my maggot and watch the action.

About 3am a fight broke out between the cockroaches and this big fat stag beetle who turned up absolutely legless with some sort of mayfly in tow. she was skinny as a rake and all diaphanous like, and shimmied about until she knocked the cockroaches drinks flying and ended up on her a..e in the corner. It didn't come to much and one of the night moths calmed things down.

At about 4 o clock just as it was getting dawn, the whole thing came to a sudden stop when a pair of carrion crows hopped in and started ripping the place apart, they really didn't care if they were grabbing bits of floor or bits of customer, we all scarpered pretty fast and made our way back to the hotel.

Tomorrow I am going to the beach, there is a rumour that there is a new seafood place just washed up ,some sort of dead dolphin type affair i'm told. Might come back to the Sus at the end of the week , should be a bit more liquified by Friday and apparently the worms will be fresh, thats if the rats and foxes haven't cleaned the place out by then.

See you Sunday, wish you were here!
PS ; The photographs of a five day dead Boar by the side of the road were some of the most disgusting I have taken. Indeed it should have had a health warning.