Good Grief 108

Unseen trails
This is the rear light of a car that had just passed on this wild night as I sat parked waiting for the rain to ease. I sat for a few minutes contemplating how I had been submerged by the week and all the little trails that had been like torpedo trails delivering blows beneath the waterline until I had finally been swamped and upended to the point of tears in the toilet at work today.
Individually they weren't particularly significant, little pettinesses,  but they all had trails that could be traced back to things that lay deeper, they all struck at the heart of things in their different ways.
Some were ridiculous work things - I know that they are just part of the way of things, like any organisational, systemic, rigid, large structures - they become Kafka in action ... I know that but have to give myself some space to step away and take stock again.
Like so many of these things they tap into where we feel we are in these places, do they match our values, if not, do we just roll over and give up, do we try to tackle them ... and that led on to confidence ... that thing that took flight sometime after my husband died ... was it ever really there anyway?
Other things surprised me a little - I watched mono Monday unfold and had a go at trying to do a mono selfie. I couldn't do it, I couldn't bear it. Lots unfolded from that.
So it was a relief to unfold a little into presence here.