Happiness is.........

The sorting of Mum's house began in earnest today and whilst we are a long, long way from completing it, the house no longer feels much like Mum's.  It's messy, things are out of place, there are boxes and bags everywhere, cupboards and drawers are empty, shelves are cleared, but during the day there has been heaps of laughter too.  

Since my return home from the other side of the world, I haven't been to see Mum.  Today, when we returned some medical equipment to the hospital, it quite suddenly became very important to me that I see her.  The hospital staff were amazingly supportive and in next to no time I was being lead to a chapel.....

I'm not going to share the details of this incredible, private time with her, but during my 10 or 15 minute visit so much changed for me.  I like to think that her spirit was there with me and whilst our audible conversation was one-sided, the inaudible conversation was most definitely two-way.  I was reminded that Mum has never judged me nor exerted any pressure on me to do anything or be anything other than happy and if my being happy meant living on the other side of the world, then so be it.  She let me run free to my happiness and supported me every step of the way and now, I was reminded, it was my turn to let her run free to her happiness, and if her happiness meant letting go of life, then so be it.  I'd already told her that her happiness in whatever form that took, was the most important thing to me. Now, I realised, was the time to honour those words.  I can be sad here on earth because I've lost mum, or I can be happy here on earth because Mum is finally free and in her happy place.  I choose happy for her (though I know I will falter and slide for a while.)

So this montage is for my beautiful mum who has lived a beautiful life and will live forever in my heart in a beautiful, eternal rest with F.

Love and gratitude forever
xxx