Do you mind?

"One man's poison ivy is another man's spinach."
George Ade

Two things:

1. I am not polluting the atmosphere! These erm bottom burps are like air freshener in my world! This is Calvin Klein for dogs. If you could bottle it, you'd make a fortune. You could get David Beckham to advertise it wearing only his pants. aprecious why are you wearing a gas mask? Are you auditioning for an episode of Dr Who?

2. For one whole day can you keep that darn camera out of my face? Know how I got this good looking, eh? Sleep, yeah? So leave me alone! I fart in your general direction.

Dollyfish. Over to you.