Giving Thanks; reasons to smile

April 9th - Mum's birthday, today she should be 64. A year ago I posted THIS explaining what the day has come to mean to me. A year on it somehow means more, it's become my measure, the point at which I pause and ponder. For 25 years I refused to work on my birthday, but now it's this date that's blanked out in the diary, today is a day for me & mum, and today she was most certainly smiling down on me as it was a glorious day to get IntotheHills.

It's 6 years now since mum was taken from us and in those years our lives have changed enormously, in nearly every aspect for the better, something I know she's happy to see, something it's taken a while to be able to accept. But this last six months I've been personally beset with injuries and setbacks, stacking up, debilitating me,  seeming to threaten that happy life. I think as the months and injuries have gone on and on, as recovery has seemed harder & harder I've drifted as close to depression as an eternal optimist like me is able to get - when Mum was killed anger, grief and guilt held me for far too long, but even then I knew I'd fight them off, find a way forward. Recently I've felt a long way off that path and it's been far more difficult to come to terms with than I'd ever have thought.

Today I was always heading IntotheHills, stupid niggling pains or no - , so I strapped up the  ankle and wrist, took a lot of ibuprofen and set forth good and early, and as ever the mountains worked their magic. Sat peacefully alone atop a crag, with a 360° panorama and the sun on your face it's difficult not to feel blessed. Returning 5 years ago to a life in the mountains reinforced some old friendships, but I've also made more new friends in these 'second life' years than in the 20 before - friends who've supported and encouraged me, laughed and on occasion cried with me, all of whom I'm immensely thankful for. 
On Cam Crag Ridge today I paused before the steep little headwall and realised that whilst this is still a relatively easy day out even now for me, there are many for whom it's just not possible. I smiled at my  blessings and scrambled to the top.

I've written before that God and I no longer see eye to eye, but that doesn't mean I'm without faith or don't think there could be something more - today, in a cathedral such as this, who could not? Sat in a hollow on Glaramara this afternoon, where this blip was taken, looking at the majesty of the fells I read this back and realised I'd written we instead of I in many places. Today Mum was most certainly with me and today we were both smiling.

I know some of you like to know; so today's route was Rosthwaite to Langstrath, them up Cam Crag Ridge, across Coombe Doors to Glaramara and then down along Thornythwaite Fell.
The extra shows the scope of today's views.