getting home (5)

He opened his eyes and slowly blinked his way awake. There was a muted light in the room. It was eleven twenty-six. He lay a while longer lost in the thin cracks in the ceiling. He got up and took off his overalls and threw them into the empty bucket. He sat back down on the bed and it creaked.

Going through to the living room, he found Jess was in her chair.
“Morning son.”
“Morning Nana."
He gave himself a stretch.
" I hope I didn’t disturb you last night. Like the window?”
“No, no. I didn’t hear a thing. Aye, I don’t think they’ve ever been cleaner! You’re good at your job all right. But when did you did you clean it? I’ve been up since half six.”
“Last night. There was a freaky noise that woke me up. Like a baby being murdered or something. I couldn’t get back to sleep, so…”
She looked over at him.

 Tap tap tap...

“Really? I never heard a thing. It was probably old Jock’s cats. They’re always at it.”
He looked out the window. The sky looked like wet ash.
“I think I might head back after breakfast, if that’s okay.”
“ I think that’d be best. Carol-Ann phoned.”

 Tap tap tap tap...

The blood was rising on his face. He turned and went through to the kitchen and switched the kettle on. He took a few breaths then came back through.
“Listen son. You couldn't take your silly old Nana a wee run up to Shepherd’s Rest before you go, could you?”
He let out a smile.
“Of course! It looks a bit cold out there though. Maybe rain.”
“Aye, well. It’s the kind of weather I used to love to be out in.”

He had a cup of tea and some toast then got his things together and put them in the van. Jess got herself ready and by the time she struggled after her zimmer frame into the van he was ready to go. Alexander put it and her wheelchair in the back.
 He drove the road alongside the loch and through the pine forest. He shifted in his seat.
“Man, these trees go on for ages.”
“Remember that time you got lost when you were wee?”
Alexander flicked a glance over to Jess.
“Me?”
“Yes. Your mum and aunt Aggie brought you up for the summer. You must have been four, if your mum was still alive.”
“….”
“You went missing for nearly the whole day, don't you remember? Police and forest people and villagers all out looking for you.”
 Word got round quickly once they realised he was really missing. When the police found him up a tree and had brought him back his mother let go all her fears onto him, skelping and shaking him till Aggie pushed her away.
“Stop it Anne! Stop!”
 Anne knew she was dying by then. She threw herself at him and hugged him, squeezing him as if to wring out her terror. She wept and let out howls that made everyone there look away. Jess walked up and patted her and Alexander on the back, tap tap tap. Aggie was crying too.
 “It’s okay. He’s safe. He’ll be safe.”
 
 He gaped ahead like a trout.
 “What!?..Why.. How come I got lost?”
 Jess was looking straight ahead at the green-tinted road.
 “You must have got a fright or something. You kill .. you accidentally killed my wee budgie.”
 Alexander felt his grip tightening on the steering wheel. It creaked. Treetops flashed by overhead.
 “You said you took it out its cage to pet it and it bit you. You threw it at the wall and that was that.”
 “ I.. eh..”
 “And then you ran away thinking you’d be in big trouble.”
 The high streaking swipe of treetops across his vision as he drove was making him feel light headed.
 “I.. don’t even remember you having a budgie..”
 “Well, that was my last one. And then not long after that your mum .. you know.. and you were sent to live with me for a while when your dad went off the rails.”
 The road curved away from the lochside and started to climb towards Shepherd’s Rest.