Catching Up

It was hard to think of a title for this entry. It's been a strange day. 

I had a lazy day, which was lovely as I've been super busy this week, and was desperate to catch up on sleep. Thankfully the sun was out too. I always feel cheated if I go to work all week and then the weather is crap at the weekend. 

I was supposed to have a date last night, but it never materialised. Fair dues, I don't mind. We did chat over the last few weeks, but this reminds me exactly why I don't prolong the chatting part, as it either a) never happens, or b) you've talked about your lives already, and there's not too much left to say. In truth I was a bit disappointed, as he was definitely somebody I actually wanted to meet, but I've not lost anything so onwards and upwards :-) 

The Dutch are celebrating King's Day next week, and the pub was throwing a pre-party tonight. I wanted to go, but wasn't sure that guy friend was DJing. I had a few other things I wanted to do there too, including some shopping, so I went up a bit earlier. I had a browse on Regent Street but managed not to buy anything ;-) As I walked past the tube at Piccadilly, there were a group playing 'Hotel California' and they were really good. There was a huge crowd around them so I stopped to listen and recorded a little bit of their performance. 

I headed on to the pub, and gathered my courage. I hate doing things by myself. This weekend I am a bit sad, as I remember how Tim and I spent the same weekend last year. He didn't really want to go to the parties, but went for me, because I did. He is an amazing person. I could have just tucked all those memories in a little box, and left it this year. But there's that part of me that didn't want to miss out, so that's why I went. 

And it turned into a good night. Lots of questionable Dutch music, but they love it! Although I think " Lief Klein Konijntje" might have made even the Dutchies balk a little ;-) And if you can't beat them, join them ;-) I always make a request, but only occasionally get it played! My new favourite "Cake by the Ocean" was duly played, but despite me thinking it would be a winner, it was in fact a bust, and guy-friend was right ;-) Ah well, back to the Grease Mega-mix....

I somehow ended up with the NL stripes across my face, did some sort of Conga up the stairs to the top of the bar, and spent a rather long time convincing a drunken Irishman that just because my hair is red, there is in fact no Irish blood in me.....

For the first time in a while I didn't walk back to the station with guy-friend after the party finished- we won't go into why ;-) As it was a bit earlier, and I was so cold, I decided to take the tube, even though I knew I'd be super early for the train. The only thing open at Waterloo is Costa, so I grabbed a tea and parked myself in the window seats for a little bit. Guy-friend said he might see me there, but I guessed probably not. The train took forever to come up on the board. Once it pulled away, he sent me a message to say he was on the train, so I ambled through the joys of the last train- ladies sprawled out on the floor after their night out, Burger King wrappers in hand. Ah, the 01:05, how I've missed you ;-)

I located him in the lovely quiet front part of the train, and we got a chance to talk. I really like the time to talk, as we didn't really get a chance to tonight. There is always lots of laughter and banter, and it's a throwback to the old days I guess. Unexpectedly we had a bit more to talk about than I ever expected, so I asked if it was ok to get off at his stop instead of mine so that we could talk some more. He said it was fine, and I would get a taxi later. 

We went back to his apartment to chat, and it was good. I suppose I missed being able to talk like that, sans other people. And then when the poor guy was barely able to keep his eyes open, we walked back to the taxi rank and said our goodbyes. I think it was getting on for 3am. It was a strange night. But good in it's own way. By the time I actually went to sleep it was nearly 4am.

It's hard to know how to write the rest as I have received some, shall we say, unexpected new followers. A bit of a shock, but I'm fully aware that it is the risk you take when you expose your life like this. I'm ok with that, I know I would never want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I endeavour just to focus on how I feel at the time. That way I can look back and remember how intense the good things were, and also the bad. A measure of my life, my story and my journey. This journal has indeed been my salvation, a focus for my thoughts when I don't want to share them with people around me. I'm thankful for the photos, the memories, the stories and the people, and for all the little details that I would otherwise have forgotten. I never kept a diary when I was younger, as I knew I would cringe if I read it back. And there are quite a lot of entries on here, some deeply personal ones that if I read them back now, I can remember exactly how I felt, at that time. But with the passage of time comes growth and change, that's part of life. I have read a few past entries back, others I prefer not to. Various stages of horrification perhaps at the amount of detail I expressed, but it's ok. What's written is written I guess. It came from my head, it came from my heart. And I hope that everybody that is and was and continues to be a part of my journal knows how important they are and have been to me.