Fort William

A nightmare drive from Nairn. On coming lorries driven at breakneck speed interspersed by caravan campers doing 8mph. with the odd peloton of lycra clad pedal jockeys thrown in. Even a tourist snapper stepping further backward out of a lay-by into the road in front of me so she get her family all (very nearly orphaned) in frame.

Any hoo...

1, Midge season has started. My spotty arms offer up evidence. My late evening nude forest rambles will have to wait until the season is over. Skin So Soft my arse. May as well coat myself in jam.

2. This is Sidney and Megan (Megan is the one with the hairy ears...oh wait?). What tales he had to tell. Fascinating gentleman, he is a marshal at the weekend's UCI Mountain Bike World Cup. Upwards of 19.000 spectators are expected! Megan took it all in her stride, she is a registered patting dog and regularly visits nursing homes to bring comfort and delight in equal proportion. Lovely dog.

3. Not the second coming. Fort William? I mean....where would the Magi get parked? Morrison's supermarket is two hours tops.

4. The big one. Nevis, Ben to his friends.

5. "WTF? This is decaff!"

6. More street furniture. Benches need more whimsy.

7. We made the Lochaber Press! (Possibly, if Ebola breaks out in Spean Bridge we may be pushed back to page seven)

8. Kevin prided himself on never having tipped a barber ever. The barbers are having the last laugh.

9. If it's Scottish photograph it.

I loved Fort William. It was brilliant, vibrant and fun. All full of Scottish kitsch and tartan nonsense, but people were enjoying that crap. And the weather! A scorcher, the chemists were full of back pack laden walkers all asking for sun block - to be met with a response of 'Well we've had no call for that....perhaps there is a bottle in the back? I'll hae  a wee look". 

And for lunch an amazing ham off the bone and lemon mayo sandwich which leaked all over my trousers.

Tomorrow Inverness! Bring it on!