Love around the table

I am proud and happy to tell, that it has now been several years already, since I had the Burn out. Pure accident, first only physical symptomps. Mainly because I was absolutely exhausted, deadly tired. Recovering was harder as I could have imagined.

After the worse situations I payed myself a trauma therapist, the doctor recommended it. Reasons for the burn out were far in my past and obvious, I was told, and that I'd benefit.

So I searched a therapist and I visited there weekly - one year time. I told her my story, my feelings, my problems, my struggling, people around me, their reactions and expressions to the life - and mine too. Learned a lot. She made me think and I had to answer her questions. A hard job, a lot sorrow and crying. Until I felt the job done sooner than normal, but I felt that I have nothing to tell anymore. Finished for the moment.

Life is good now. Have changed my way of thinking.
However during the last week one of the issues came into my mind.

One of the biggest issues that I learned at therapist's was to give up my martyrdom. Being martyr does only make harm to everyone, she told.And asked if it could be something that I could give up.

First of all the martyr hurts herself (thinking aloud, that she is to blame on everything). Secondly the martyr makes other people's feeling bad, pressured. And as other people normally do have enough issues for their own, there is no use to give them more pressure - unless you really want to hurt them. Make them ill, suffer. Pay.

So I learned, that if you do not like to poison your own mind, if you like to love yourself as well as people around you, you should do mostly only things that you really like to do - and only because you like to, and not because someone else says so. Do stop being martyr.

Regarding to happenings to passed week, I was thinking this lesson through again - and it really helped me again. So even if I was quite fed up to the therapy once and while, it maybe was worth those euros.

What comes into the blip of the day, this has been lovely day!

Blip is from the breakfast as we had the whole family arond the table - including J, the boyfriend of my daughter.

Later visiting dementia ward and met my cousin M and my step-mom with her friend at my dad's nameday party. A lot of good old memories and love around table again!

After the coffee and cake dad looked a bit depressed, because we were leaving the ward, so I decided to take him to visit me. And we cooked a wonderful meal in my home with all my family. Dad again was mixed up, worried and clever, but liked a lot for his stay, and seemed also happy in the evening to go back to his dementia ward after the sunny moments in the garden.

Happy day!
Flu almost gone.

Sorry for the long story. Good for you, if you read this far!

Peace and love,
Susanna