Good Grief 176

It remains a funny old business.
Never quite knowing how things will be.
I awoke and it is like a parallel self living simultaneously across the dimensions of time, like a shadow self, an operating system running alongside. The time parallels of the call, the 4am rush to hospital, the 7ish parallel of making the desperate decision, the awfulness, the time then, altered, stretching oddly. All lived out alongside getting up, making breakfast, driving to work, getting on with the day. The long drive back across the county the sense then of time floating. And then on to my friend's. And the difference, the sense of a change,  of wanting and of asking - very new for me. He would so enjoy the company too, it pains me deeply he cannot be here with us - he would so love it, and so would I.

Postscript: next day caution - vertigo and siren call of darkness