An Ode To Locksmiths

Evening all,

First a useful tip:

Never de-scale a fish when in close proximity to your laptop, or if you simply find you have to, position laptop so it cannot become covered in fishy bits.

Second tip:

It is easier to peel an apple than it is to peel a sea bass, unless you have a knife sharper than Edmund Blackadder in a drawer full of equally sharp pointy things.

Anyway my wife has run off to a hospice visit and left me with a hoard of teenage girls to manage, first it was one, then two,then three,and now it is four....

i think there must be some sort of cloning machine in the driveway, i shall stop answering the door just to be on the safe side.

They have decided to have a sleep over in the tents and before i know it the tents are up, they're all dressed in pajamas and boots and have charged outside.

Leaving me to pick up various discarded items of clothing and chuck in a communal bag, trying very hard not to look at any of them or touch them with anything more than finger and thumb,whislt wrinkling nose in distaste.

and i think one of these girls is a boy as it looks like someones peed on the toilet floor..

night all


type o negative