In the scullery, with a cat

Have you heard that the makers of Cluedo have replaced Mrs White with a new character, Dr Orchid? She's  apparently a young biologist with a speciality in plant poisons. In fact all the characters have been revamped and now look as if they come out of a soft-porn version of Harry Potter. 

Oh well, as I was saying... with a cat. He's refused tinned food, and lightly baked chicken, but has finally decided on a sachet of Felix for Seniors as his menu option for today. He is 17 (149 in human years??) and has perfected a heart-melting way of turning his cloudy old eyes to meet yours, as if to say It's my teeth, you know... they're not what they were.... but then at other times a resounding crunch betrays the fact that he's demolishing, in two seconds flat, the victim of another cat's hunting prowess. His own ratting days are over but he still has a penchant for fresh kill  (See extra - or not.) 

Honestly, sometimes I could murder him. In the scullery, with a tin of Whiskas.