Good Grief 209

Sliding into darkness ..

Apologies for the ridiculous level of pathos here -

Another very challenging day. Tedium personified at the moment.
Another hideous night of not very much sleep and then dropping off at first light. I'm still thinking hormones are part of the picture and was a bit relieved when there was some evidence of that today ... I think it is upping the ante significantly at the moment ... at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it because I need to pin this ridiculousness on something (apart from the obvious stuff).

As for the pathos ... 
I had again thought of tentative plans to try and do something to shake myself a little, a change of scene, I thought I might even manage to get up to see Phil Hammond. It was a rather crazy thought but I'm prone to these things. Anyway, it evaporated and I eventually, in amongst bouts of crying, started to do random jobs, a trip to the recycling, a shop, a short windy walk and a bit of faffing with a duster. I tackled part of the bedroom that had accumulated 4 years of dust and found this spoon that I had used to give my husband doses of his morphine solution in the middle of the night when he was struggling badly.
I put it to my lips knowing that his lips were the last lips to touch it.
It's all so bloody ridiculous, it's a plastic spoon for goodness sake ....