The Christmas Dimension

A combination of nasal strips, Otrivine and a new specialised side-sleeper pillow meant that my slumber was better last night and, according to TSM, so was hers as my snoring was largely held in check. I had many dreams although the only one I can remember was being attacked by a large black dog; actually that may have happened in real life. Need to think about that. 

According to Wikipedia the science behind nasal strips is fairly simple: 

"Nasal strips adhere to the skin, holding open the anterior nasal aperture and prevent it from collapsing.[5] When properly applied, they lift and widen the space in the nasal passage".

So all was going well until I had a complete crash for about twenty minutes whilst working at home; what I would call a chronic fatigue attack, when you go into a sudden and irresistible deep sleep after which you feel as though reality has been turned inside out. This was disappointing as I had been doing really well until then. 

The surreal nature of the day continued when I pitched up in Guildford at the St John's Ambulance centre for my three yearly Fire Marshall training. I walked into the room and met John The Trainer (ex Royal Engineers, fully qualified auxiliary firefighter, St John Ambulance trainer in both fire safety and first aid, and weekend rugby player) who told me I was the only person left on the course after various issues with under-subscription and last minute drop-outs (hey what's going on that's usually me?)

At least I got to play with ALL the fire extinguishers (I love a good blast of CO2) and we finished a bit early thanks to 1:1 training being free of the usual irritating pedantic show off questions and delays whilst someone gets lost looking for the toilet or complaining about the state of the tea spoons. I was pleased that I could remember my fire triangle and was able to describe the main issues with my building. John said I needed to keep an eye on all the "snurgles" which sounds really Harry Potter but I googled it when I got home and found several meanings (none of them Hogwarts related). Try it yourself. I particularly like the definition about teenagers and puddings. He actually meant rubbish and papers that constitutes a fire hazard.

I went shopping in Guildford briefly (the training centre was on the outskirts) but it was all very annoying. There is so much shit on sale at Christmas. Really. Bilge. But I did buy a turkey. I worked hard at this, as a vegetarian. Gave it my full attention. Free range. Organic. Had my name on it (literally). 

Saw this woman (a store employee I hasten to add) fighting with the shop window dummies in Next as I sat opposite in Starbucks with a cheese and marmite toastie. She looked dazed and confused and just ready to go. I know the feeling, I thought. So I went home. The Christmas Dimension can just be too much sometimes. Surreal isn't always funny (except when it is the young Salvador Dali talking about Rhinoceros in the film Midnight in Paris)

For clarification, the black dog thing was both real and a dream.  It all comes back to me now. It had a go at me when I walked into town yesterday and I dreamt about it as well.

Ten Lords A-Leaping