Listening

Sharp Edge today - a solid day out in Winter...i would write even in this half hearted Winter but....
Yesterday on the campaign trail left me disheartened - a reset was needed.

As i headed up the rounded ridge of Scales Fell the wind, due West along the A66 valley was gusting to 40mph or so - a temperature a couple of degrees below freezing being given a windchill of minus 10. Unsurprisingly i saw not a soul.
To the 600m contour or so was a bog - but the fabulous Scarpa Phantom Guides, with their integral gaiter were wonderful and warm. Dropping to the tarn gusts buffeted me - clouds massed around 800m and I paused a while to get this blip knowing all too well it could soon be gone.
The more I headed North into the protected bowl just as planned the more the wind disappeared - one less thing to contend with. I took a sheltered fast lunch at the rocks betwixt Brunt Knott and the start of the ridge proper then headed up. What snow there was was unconsolidated, but the rocks were hazardously treacherous - consequences here are fatal - so judgement paramount. I move fast, even now - but i also know the day is a marathon and there are times to be slow, times for tactics - firm of foot and keen of grip i made my way across the ridge* - the gap where ridge meets mountain again has a fearsome reputation - but its never bothered me - a shuffle and a good pull and you're across. Often as not the difficulties are nearly over, but in winter heading back is a far harder option.
Today however this was where just enough rime ice and deep soft snow started - enough to make feet skate - not enough to take an axe. I opted for the usually easy gully - and found enough snow to bank out the angle to "officially steep".
Alone, high in the mountains, not more than a couple of miles from the road. Just me, myself and I.
I'd a technical axe, crampons, 60m of rope and enough gear to build an abseil - but one slip would be everything. But most of all I had experience, i knew who to listen to.
Me said "you've been here before, you know this, you can do this, this grade is easy**"
Myself said" you've never been here today, you've never lived in this moment before, all of this is new"
I said "one step, the next step, move when all the weight is right - all of the moments to now carry you forward, you have everything you need within you, I trust you"
Me, Myself & I were right - minutes weighed like hours and flew by like seconds passing - everything gone into the moment - and then steep became slope became walking away from the edge into the white room.

*the ridge forward and behind & me traversing the summit make up the extra.

**Winter Grades are subjective due to the variable conditions. Sharp Edge is nominally I/II today id probably give it II/III. Please dont be tempted unless you know the truth of your own voices.