A Flag Day

A new type of Nordic Saga is being written.

For anyone out there who will have problems with BT, here is a handy guide.

‘Your landline will be restored by midnight’ means ‘Your landline will not be restored by midnight’ (Indicated 5 times to date)

‘Your problem has now been resolved’ means ‘Your problem has not been resolved’ (6 texts to date)

‘Excavations are taking place at the exchange’ means ‘Excavations are not taking place at the exchange.’ (I cycled there in 5 minutes and there was no-one there).

‘Here is the email address of my line supervisor who will take action’ means ‘You send off an impassioned email which will never be replied to even if you (and the fictitious supervisor) live to be 435 years’.

‘I can assure you I will help you to the best of my ability’ means ‘Ah, I see I have cheese sandwiches today in my piece box.  Now, where is my newspaper, don’t make my tea too strong’.

Envoi: Temporary relief was provided by Lady Findhorn and her retainer.