Good Grief 283

Feeling pretty disorientated.
Will come back to this too...perhaps.

Writing a week later. One of the things I notice is needing time to assimilate. I'm not quite sure why that is but the thought of heading away on Friday straight after work having just got back last Sunday, felt daunting. It was brief and fine and I made sure I had Sunday clear to regroup and yet I was so disorientated I didn't know what to do with myself. Having successfully negotiated a trip away I thought I was doing ok but nothing felt okay returning back to a place of emptiness. I went to my friend's to watch the Wimbledon final but it was a busy family house and didn't feel ok. I felt panicky. Nothing felt ok. I fianally, very late, went for a swim and found some peace with the dead and the beauty of the evening.

On a curious note, I started sleeping whilst away, cocooned. But it has more or less continued since and less aggressive hormonal sweats too. Weird but welcome.