Murder on the Dance Floor

Another Monday, another Monday Night Football, another attempt to impugn football's Mr Clean. And once again, the villain of the piece was a young player who should know better. The miscreant claimed that he had been shoulder barged in the face. A claim that is laughable when the jury considers that, being 6'10" tall, his face was not reachable by a human shoulder without the aid of a stepladder. Close examination of the sports hall revealed no such climbing aid.
QED. I move that the case be dismissed and that our hero be released without a stain upon his character.