Cleave to Thee

It's not really necessary but when I cook Chinese I do like getting the cleaver out to cut the meat up, after it's been hammered first of course.

Now that our landline has been connected it seems a number of people are giving it out to as a false number to avoid either a) credit collection agencies or b) the police. 8 Messages in one day from a credit agency, one message from the police looking for the parents of a, presumably, naughty child and one from the headmaster of a school looking for the parents of the same child. Is this really what I have waited 16 days for?