Sunday

Today I had to pretend, put on an act that I was ok. It was bloody hard.
My anxiety was high. I woke with a pounding  and jumping chest. I had tingly legs and I just wanted to cry.

As the day went on, nothing changed. I started to think about next Fridays dentist appt. Do I try and get the day off (but don't want to waste a holiday) as I know I will be anxious and it will be hard to go back to work, or do I just go and see? As usual, this will go over and over in my head for days.

Now I am home, I can do what I need to do. The jumpiness, agitation inside me needs to go. I have squeezed a glass, smashing it, I have cut, paced, cried, now it's time for medication.

Blip is the sun setting over high tenements.