Good Grief 325

A journey into absurdity.

It was a really good day. Excellent! I am honing my headless chicken skills to a peak of pure perfection. I got up and managed to travel from the north to the south of the country and from the eastern to the western most parts of the county...all before breakfast. And then I made a decision and threw stuff together into the car and headed off. It may be madness but it's a decision. Off to mum and dad's to see their neighbour who is about to spend the winter with her daughter in South Africa. She's the same age as them and I suddenly got it into my head I may not see her again. Right! Don't think. It's a decision, just do it. Off we go....

I got to the traffic lights and knew it was absurd. A crazy long trip. I'd no sooner get there than have to turn and come back.

Well, at least I've got the bedding out the van (I always take it with down with me, partly to save washing, partly to help me sleep better if I can). It was done angrily....if I'm not going to go and stay in the van then I'll start to clear it ready for its winter hibernation which I keep putting off, not wanting us to part.

So with a car full of bedding and stuff for a journey, I went to the local shop. Okay, heat logs, get some logs, you need logs. Right. They've sold out. Okay get oil for Buddha Mountain. Hooray, linseed oil. Tick.

Right. West? An event? Nah! East? Birds. Hmm. A walk. Just walk. Walk the line. Okay. Head in the right direction. No point. Too far. Just pull over and walk, damn you.

And so then its as if the local don't-mess-with-me hefty bouncer has to grab hold of the wheel, pull over, and physically lean over, grab me by the scruff and throw me out the car and slam the door shouting, 'just one foot in front of the other, up there. Go. And don't come back until you can behave.'

And now, at midnight, I'm wondering if I should just get in the car. I'd be there by 6am. What's wrong that?
I feel like exploding.
And when I lie in the bath and stop.
I see him.
And I want to grab hold of my ribs and tear myself apart.