Good Grief 333

For some reason it seems to have been a tricky week.
I was anticipating it being more hectic than it was in the end and I kept on top of most of what I needed to do. And yet it has been difficult. 
Keeping warm has concentrated the mind - just a fire for heating has shifted perspective into more of a survival mode as I find myself lost under two duvets and two blankets. The symbolism of the world feeling colder and me disappearing isn't lost. The effort of getting to work has been harder and a long journey made more challenging with ice.
But I have also been more consciously/unconsciously aware of boundaries between one state and another (subliminally aware of my previous blip ... or,  my blip was subliminally aware of what was vaguely present but not expressed). Most particularly between connection and disconnection and between grief and depression and how they interconnect and inter-relate. .

Anyway, I'm really not sure how to coherently express what I want on that lot but what I will add is that not being a believer as such I am not usually one for miracles. Today however did result in me having to make some adjustments on that score. I had a very full day booked but for various reasons all that was booked ended up being cancelled except for a commitment at the very end of the day. I wasn't sure I was going to survive in my isolation cell in the mood I was in until the end of a Friday afternoon and by lunchtime was flagging when I got a message that there was a little old lady to see me. I wasn't supposed to see her until next week but she had confused her dates and times. She came bearing a spring in her step, lightness in her face ... and chocolate. Given how things had been I was delighted. Her tiny frame filled the room and her bright elderly watery blue eyes shone out as she said she had been feeling so much younger that she barely needed her stick as she skipped along ... Not only could I not Adam and Eve it ... but she's called Mary. I looked at her and wondered.