My fabulous new friend.

I'm a lucky girl, look at my new camera.
He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
So simple. But very, very smart.
Too clever for me, by a fucking mile.

I've just read the instruction booklet.

Crikey.
There are things you just don't expect a camera to do.
He'll go to the Off Licence in the middle of the night for more booze.
Hold your hair back when you're throwing up in the loo.
Then make sure you get to bed with the best looking person in the room.

He truly is a clever little bastard.