The best slice of telly ever.

Give the sponge finger to Downton Abbey.
Kick Homeland in the macaroons.

The Great British Bake off final had more tension and
better plot twists than either show. Well certainly a lot less predictable.
I think we all knew Sybil was going to die in
Downton Abbey on Sunday, didn't we?

So, Sweaty Betty beat both Baldimort and Hairy Potterer.
How fucking surprising was that?

Baldimort was favourite to win, with Hairy just a
shade behind, Sweaty wasn't even expected to turn up.

Whilst Baldimort was being a baking Nazi,
and Hairy a freewheeling baking hippy, Sweaty just slipped
in there with his sausage filled fancy pasty
and shiny chocolate delight to shaft them good and proper.

I think it's safe to say that Hairy threw it away when he thought
making 5 truly, crappy jumble sale cakes would win and
Baldimort did when he baked THE UGLIEST CAKE IN THE UNIVERSE.
Have you ever, ever seen a more ugly cake?

It was like the Post Office Tower rolled in toasted almonds.
In a cheap red pencil skirt.
It was meant to represent the bringing together of
his divided family, none of whom has spoken to him for 30 years.

Make it 40, eh?