I'm not going to need all this stuff for a while soon.  I'm avoiding googling too much about surgery - I definitely don't want to know - or the chemotherapy but I did look up how quickly I'm likely to lose my hair.  Two weeks or so after the first session, it'll start falling out so I'll be having it all cut off in advance.   When I was awake in bed last night, I found a blog by a beautiful girl who totally owned her baldness and ramped up the make up and jewellery.   Aheadwithstyle.com.   She's inspirational.  

I have to confess, I'm back down again today and I'm so sad and scared.